I have found that most Christians pray like a machine gun. They take aim at God and pull the trigger, launching a spray of bullet-prayers, hoping against hope that one of the prayers will make it to God’s ear and get an answer.
Then, when they have tried this enough times and have nothing to show for it, they give up. Their faith is defeated.
This is because they are praying the WRONG way!
God’s Word does not teach us to spray our prayers or beg. (And, contrary to popular misconceptions, intercession is not begging.) He teaches us to listen to God’s heart and then pray God’s heart.
Here is what really should happen:
God places a desire in our hearts for something. Then His grace starts to reel that desire closer to Himself. This awakens the desire in our hearts. As we draw near to God, we can begin to see that this desire is God’s desire. Then, if we ask for it, we are guaranteed an answer. He, after all, placed it there!
Or, we draw near to God and ask Him what is on His heart. He reveals something to us (a stranger we met who is in need, someone at church who needs healing, etc.). We ask Him what He wants to do in that situation. Then we wait. We wait for an answer to what God wants to do. When He reveals His heart for the situation, we can ask for it. We are guaranteed an answer. He, after all, said He wanted it to happen!
Did you notice that prayer has more to do with listening to God’s heart than speaking? With this key thought in mind, spend time with your children in each of the following categories of prayer:
- A – Adoration & Praise: I recommend putting on some music without words. Then, spend a few moments with your children silently thinking about what God has given you, done for you, and promised you. Let authentic, passionate praise bubble up from deep within. Dance a little. Sing a little. Do whatever it takes to take your focus off yourselves and put it squarely on the God we serve. Authenticity is the goal.
- C – Confession: When we look at how holy God is, we can be reminded of how short we fall. Authentic praise often leads to confession of how much we need Him, how much we desire His change, and how we have fallen – but are confident of His loving-kindness. Guide praise into confession of who He is and how much you and your children need Him. Then give confess how you have fallen short in your own life recently. (Make sure it is something the kids know about and can handle, like losing your temper.) Then accept God’s forgiveness and thank Him for it.
Note: Do not worry about losing your children’s respect – this will not happen. You will gain their respect and they will be confident that you are really who you say you are and God is who you say He is.
After they have heard you lead by example, let them spontaneously share where they have gone wrong. Do not force it. Let it come naturally. If one of your children resists, pray for God to soften their hearts. He will do so. Transparency before God and others is the goal. - T – Thanksgiving: Thanking God for his mercy and forgiveness can lead into gratefulness for all the things He has done and promised to do. Spend some time being verbally thankful to God for your children and the futures He has promised for them. Demonstrate to your children true thankfulness – let yourself feel thankful. Then, give them time to do the same.
Note: Pay attention to what they put on their “Thankful List”. Watch how it will mature and grow from “thank you for my teddy bear” to “thank you for changing my heart and making me love my brother more” to “thank you for helping me to know what’s right even when my friends do wrong.” - S – Supplication: Do not be deterred by the big word. It means, “To ask.” It will be your task to make sure this portion of prayer time is spent more on others than themselves.
Teach them to ask for their needs – and their wants – but always teach them to recognize that God is our Provider and has never let us be in need. (Even in the midst of asking, we are grateful that He already knows what we need and has always made provision.) When they ask for something, make sure they are surrendered to letting God answer however He desires. You will want to make sure they stay away from manipulative prayer (which never works and is evil). Guide them to surrender the very thing they are asking for, teaching them that desiring God’s will is better than life. Then, spend some time listening to what God says about their request.
Teach them to spend more time asking for others’ needs than their own. If someone is sick, ask them to listen to the heart of God for scriptures, answers for the particular situation, or what they should ask God to do. Then, make sure to ask in full authority, knowing that God has commissioned you and your children to ask specifically and believe with faith for that very thing. Write it down and continue to pray for it until God releases you from it. Make sure to explain when God releases you from praying for the item, you can leave it up to God and not worry about the answer. The proverbial ball is in His court now.
Note: What if God does not answer? This is surely the greatest fear of every Christian who steps out in faith. To face that fear in front of your children is not an easy task. I encourage you to build up your faith by tucking scripture about who God is and what He promises into your heart. You faith will grow. If you face a situation in which you all felt God said to pray for something and it did not happen…teach your children that we are tools for God to use to accomplish His plan. He is responsible for getting His plan fulfilled. We are only commissioned to pray, not to fully understand His plan. We can rest in peace knowing that we are obedient and that God is in charge.
Two Last Things…
Note how your children gravitate to one type of prayer over another. Encourage them to do all of the above, but you will see from this trend where their gifts/strengths lie. Make plans to build their strengths by giving them books, teachings, scriptures, and role models in certain areas of prayer.
Also, use intercession as an opportunity to teach persistence – a trait they will need later in real life. Encourage them to be persistent in their prayers for someone else if they have not heard and answer from God (He will ALWAYS answer) or if they do not feel released to stop praying.
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